Getting divorced is often an emotionally and legally difficult process for spouses. You may be concerned about your finances and future post-marriage, and you may be focused on taking steps to protect your rights and interests. However, if you and your spouse have children, always take the time to consider what this process is like for them.
Children have a unique perspective of the world, and they pick up on more clues and nuances than you might believe. Children often know their parents are fighting constantly, even if it always happens behind closed doors or after they are sleeping. They can sense tension, and instability at home can affect many other aspects of their lives, such as performance at schools, sports, and other activities. Closely considering your child’s point of view may not only improve the process for them, but also possibly for you and your spouse, as well.
Parents Living Separately
Parents may find it difficult to minimize arguments while they live under the same roof. However, the problems for your children do not disappear once one parent moves out of the home. They suddenly face news schedules of traveling back and forth between parents, and they may not be sure which parent is going to pick them up from school on a certain day.
The first matter of concern is deciding on a schedule that works best for your children, but that also works for you and your spouse. As part of the divorce process, the court will issue an order that includes your child custody arrangement and parenting plan, which will detail how you will share time physically, as well as how you will divide decision-making responsibilities. You always want to work together whenever possible to dictate your own custody arrangement instead of letting the court decide. You know what works best for your family, and it is best to cooperate as early as you can in the process to nail down an appropriate time-sharing schedule.
Additionally, when your children are with you, resist the urge to say negative things about the other parent. Not only does this put your children in an unhealthy position, but the court will also look at your willingness to co-parent as a factor when making custody determinations. Your children will be happier and healthier if they do not feel like they need to choose and, instead, know you will encourage their relationship with both parents during and after divorce.
Support for Your Children
Even if you take every step possible to shield your children from the emotional pain of divorce, this major change in their lives with certainly affect them. Never hesitate to seek counseling or other emotional and mental health support for your children, even if they seem to be handling everything okay. The scars of divorce can last for years, and you want to address their feelings and concerns as soon as possible.
Contact a Raleigh, NC Divorce and Family Attorney for More Information
At the law office of Daphne Edwards Divorce & Family Law, we care about the well-being of you and your children during the divorce process. We will advocate for your rights and interests and help you reach the most efficient resolution possible. We represent clients in Raleigh and throughout Wake County, so please call (919) 838-7160 or contact us online for an appointment today.
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